Thursday, May 6, 2004

writers block

every once in a while i get big attacks of writers block.

it happened mostly in school, like the few times i just couldn't finish papers in college. i'd sit in front of my computer and... nothing.

i've been trying to finish some dramas for youth group the past few weeks, and again.... nothing. i can't come up with a decent ending.

every time i've sat down at my computer in the past month, to write e-mail or post here, and.... nothing.

it's like i can't bring myself to write anything down.

sometimes i think it's because i have nothing interesting to say. that's true in a lot of ways... i either go to work or stay home (because if i go out, i spend money, and i don't have any money). i like my new job, for the most part, so there's no real complaining about that. i no longer have the day-to-day drama of college to write about... so i feel like... when you sit down to write something, you want to be able to say more than. 'well, today i went to work, then came home and watched law and order.... again'. or 'i didn't work today, so i spent the whole day in my pajamas... again'.

i remember back in high school, i'd write e-mails to my best friend/pen pal three or four times a day. considering we went to the same school, this is pretty ridiculous. lately i've been wondering what the hell i had to say, since i saw him every day, and i dug in my hard drive until i found the files with the letters. as i read through them (and we wrote a LOT, so it took me a while), i realized soemthing important.

i used to write about my thoughts. i mean, i'd write about events, but what i thought about those events was usually the focus of the letters. i used to write about my thoughts, and somehow, that got lost and i thought that the events of my life were what mattered the most.

so on that note: after re-reading old letters to my friend from high school, i realized that i haven't talked to him in a long time. and i miss him. so right now, i'm going to go pour out all my thoughts into an e-mail and send them his way, so he can flash back to 1997.

p.s. how am i going to live 6 months without new episodes of The OC? and how am i going to live with no more new episodes of Friends?!?