Monday, August 30, 2004

must be a full moon.

there is something about the end of the month... at my work, all the fucking CRAZIES come out of the woodwork.

to set this up, i am a front desk girl. i'm not a receptionist, i hang out the front desk and send everyone who comes in to where they need to be. part of the time, i just point to the part of the office they need to be in, but other times i have to spend a few minutes with someone to give them paperwork, or help them with random stuff. so, i'm a pointer and a random stuff-helper.

so today i'm helping this really nice lady. we're just about done, i'm getting some brochures and papers for her, when this lady walks in the door and immediately starts yelling.


no regard for the other people in the office. no regard for the fact that i was currently helping someone. me and the nice lady give each other a look, and i say, very politely to the woman, "i'll be with you as soon as i'm done helping this lady."


i'm trying to ignore this obnoxious woman, but it's not working very well. i say, "I'll be with you in just a second. Go ahead and have a seat."


i shit you not.

nice lady looks at me and says, "you know, I can wait a second..."

yeah, that's just what this obnoxious bitch wants. she wants everyone in the office to drop EVERYTHING to help her. i told the nice lady not to worry about it, she was here first, obnoxious lady has to wait her turn.

in the meantime, the crazy bitch has wandered into an adjacent part of the office and is screaming at the girl in that area stuff like, "WHAT DOES THIS ONE MEAN?" "HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?"

has anyone seen that SNL skit where will ferrel is playing a character that can't control the volume of his voice? that's what this lady was like. i'm not even exaggerating.

so, finish up with the nice lady, who gives me a sympathetic look, then i try to determine what the crazy lady really needs. no matter how specific my questions were, she jsut kept repeating the same thing, along with the I'VE BEEN CALLING ALL MORNING comment. i think i've figured out what she needs, and at this point, i'm like, FUCK THIS, and i send her over to one of my co-workers (who we'll call S.) and then i leave for lunch. as i'm leaving, i walk past poor S., who gives me that wide-eyed "oh my god i can't beleive this person they are really scaring me why did you send them to me?!?!" look. you know that look.

an hour later, i return from lunch, and as i walk past S., i whisper jokingly to her, "is she gone?"

S., who looks shell shocked, shakes her head NO.

turns out, while i was gone, this woman proceeded to abuse EVERYONE she came into contact with. she asked S. to make a copy for her. then she goes, ok, well, i need three of this one, two of this one, and four of this one.
S. told her nicely, well i can do this one, but we're not kinko's. she made one person go outside to get her backpack out of her car. she was carrying a lot of cash and thought she lost it no less than THREE TIMES, and had mini almost-crying freak out moments. as S. is telling me all this, i'm really glad that i missed it. and on top of it all, she was still in the office, taking loudly to one of my other co-workers.

now, a lot of people come in asking to see Mr. X, or Mr. Z, or any of the other reps in my office. but a lot of time, they don't need to talk to a rep, they need to talk to S., so when crazy lady came in asking for Mr. X, i attempted to figure out what she needed, and it sounded like a simple thing that S. could take care of.

turns out, i was wrong, and she actually needed to talk to Mr. X. before i sent her back to S., she went to talk to MR. X. she told him that this crazy lady was yelling his name, and did he know who she was or what she needed?

he took one look and said, "hell no, and i'm going to lunch." (to be fair, Mr. X is a really good guy, and he wasn't pawning this crayz off on S. to be mean or anything.)

well, when poor S. gets this woman at her desk, and discovers that she needs to talk to Mr. X, she goes next door to the place he's having lunch and makes him come back to help her. (you go S.!)

so she is in the office making a scene for over an hour. boy, we got some good break room fodder from this one.

and to top it all off: i was really freaking out that a one year old baby had been alone in a car for over an hour on a warm day. so i went to the co-worker who had gone out to her car, and asked if there had been a baby in the car.

she said, "No, just a very bored 18 year old boy."

so this woman was not only obnoxious, but she LIED to us so we would help her before the other people. who were waiting their turn like civilized people.

sometimes i just don't get people at all, you know?


D said...

Goodness, that makes my job seem just slightly more tolerable. Just slightly, though... and I'm sure I'll be taking that back tomorrow. I hope tomorrow's a bit calmer! :)

Sarcomical said...

I'm laughing because I totally remember that Will Farrell character and the fact that you had to deal with it in REAL life is crazy! Funny, but crazy!
Plus, what a nasty liar mcliarson!!!