Sunday, March 10, 2002

i <i>hate </i> when i can't figure people out.

have any of you ever had interactions with people where you couldn't figure out what the hell they were thinking, or where they were coming from? i've bee

ok, i'll try to make it more clear. i'm perceptive, and pretty good at figuring people out. you know, if somone is happy, sad, if they like me or hate me or are indifferent or whatever, and more often or not, i get an instinctual feeling about people that i can't explain in words. but every once in a while i come across someone where i get weird vibes and mixed messages and i can't get a clear picture of who they are, and it drives me batty. when this happens, i want to walk up tothem and corner them somewhere and be like, "what the hell is in you head?? where are you coming from?? why aren't you letting me in??"

this is fairly ironic becasue i have become fairly good at hiding my feelings, especially when they could possibly result me losing people... lost friends and and an endless stream of rejections can do that to a person, i guess. even here, where i should feel free to express myself and talk about things i might not talk about to people face to face, i find that i censor myself. even though i try to be vauge and anonymous, i'm freaked out that someone will 'find out', that my thoughts will somehow be read or seen by the wrong people, that what i write will come back to me and bite me in the ass.