Sunday, May 16, 2004

sometimes i have these, weird,

sometimes i have these, weird, unexplainable pangs of lonliness.

it's bizarre, because these little bouts of depression always happen at the strangest times. i mean, today i made plans with a friend at work (we're going to dinner and a movie, yay for girl's night out), i spoke to my mom and my grama on the phone, i had messages from two of my best friends waiting for me on my machine when i got home from work, and i talked to two more of my closest friends on IM.

but then i'm sitting at my computer and i want to cry because i feel like i am utterly alone and that no one cares about me, two things that i know are not true at all.

i'm lucky because these little moments never last much longer than a minute or two, and i never really get to the point of crying (which is good, because when i do cry, for whatever reason, i always feel worse rather than better).

i'm really just curious as to what brings this on. at first i thought it was music, but maybe not, tonight i was listening to an old save ferris cd, which is definetly not depressing music...but other than that i have no idea. maybe i'll never know, but for now i'll just consider myself lucky that i can still be objective about this depression thing.

4 comments:

liz said...

don't be sad...give me a call!

donz said...

GAH! SO NOT TRUE!!! Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love.

donz said...

PS. Like the lime.

alex said...

You only have occasional brief spells of lonliness for only a minute or two???
That's pretty freakin' lucky. Not depression at all.
Head to an old folks home and you'll find examples of what years of lonliness add up to. Real depression for sale there.